Meet Ralphie

Meet Ralphie, the “religious fanatic” toad, who Zeni meets during her junior year of college when she is home visiting her parents during Christmas break. Somehow, after an enormous amount of pleading on her part, Natalie, Zeni’s older cousin, convinces Zeni to join her at a local nightclub known as being a cesspool of overage lounge lizards. Uncomfortable being at the club, Zeni looks to escape when she sees the Adonis-like Ralphie talking with Natalie.

After courageously strutting across the dance floor, Zeni introduces herself to Ralphie. They strike up a conversation and spend the following week together before Ralphie heads back to Manhattan.

Zeni’s fated meaning with Ralphie at the club eventually takes her to New York City for a weekend to visit him. En-route to the Big Apple, she meets a handsome stranger on the plane. While excited to see Ralphie when she disembarks, she quickly discovers he has undergone a radical personality shift which doesn’t mesh so well with her own personality.

Does Zeni ride out the weekend with Ralphie? Or does she sneak away to meet up with the handsome stranger from the plane?

Find out more about Zeni’s escapade with the “religious fanatic” toad in chapter one. It is sure to keep you laughing one minute and shaking your head in amazement the next, as Zeni struggles to maintain her beliefs in the face of Ralphie’s constant criticisms.

Zeni and Ralphie are having a conversation while en-route back to his apartment. He starts by saying:

Apparently noticing the look on my face, Ralphie explained. “Look, I knew you lied to me this morning. So I searched through your duffel bag and found your address book with their number in it.”

“You searched through my duffel bag?”

“Yes, I did. Now, where were you?”

“I was uh, uh . . .”

“You know, Zeni, a Christian girl never lies. Now confess your sins.”

“Oh, all right, I lied. You caught me, red-fricking-handed. I guess I’m going straight to Hell,” I said, slumping back in the seat of the car and crossing my arms.

“Well, if you’d accept Jesus Christ as your savior—”

“Enough, damn it! Please, I’m begging you. All you’ve done this entire weekend is lecture me. I can’t take any more,” I said, rising up out of the passenger seat and throwing my hands up in the air.