The “Abducted by Aliens” Toad
Meet Alfie, the “abducted by aliens” toad, who Zeni is introduced to by Harvey, her hairstylist of the past five years. At almost every hair appointment, Harvey grills Zeni about her latest escapades in the swamps as he is well aware of her quest to find Prince Charming. On one occasion, though, Harvey is unusually perplexed by Zeni’s plight and suddenly thinks of his friend, Alife, a charismatic, international jet setter, as a potential candidate for Prince Charming.
A few months later, fate intervenes, and Zeni meets Alfie at Harvey’s salon while he is there getting his hair cut. Alfie asks for Zeni’s number and calls her to make plans for dinner later that week.
When Alfie arrives to pick her up for their date, Zeni finds she is highly aroused by his handsome, chiseled physique. She grabs her handbag off the kitchen table and heads off to dinner with Alfie, smiling at the thought of the wonderful evening ahead.
What happens to Zeni and Alfie during dinner? Has Zeni finally met Prince Charming, or are Alfie’s warts and imperfections a little more than what Zeni might bargain for?
Find out more about Zeni’s escapade with the “abducted by aliens” toad in chapter two. Zeni’s night out with Alfie will not only shock you, but have you contemplating whether life on other planets really does exist.
Preview Excerpt from Chapter Two
Zeni is having a conversation with her hairdresser, Harvey. He starts by saying:
After a few more seconds of silence, Harvey jumped up and down and exclaimed, “Oh, my God! Why didn’t I think of this before? I know the perfect man for you. His name is Alfie.”
“Alfie? Now that’s a name you don’t hear very often. Is he straight?”
“Yes, he’s straight, never swung to the other side, at least not to my knowledge. He’s quite a catch.”
“Okay, my interest is piqued.”
“Let me put it this way. If I were straight, I’d be all over him,” Harvey said as he started cutting my hair.
“Can you be a teensy-weensy bit more specific, like does he have a large wart growing in the middle of his forehead?”
“Girl, you crack me up. You know I have better taste than that. Alfie’s successful, physically fit, well-traveled, intelligent . . . ,” Harvey replied as my mind wandered to visions of this fine specimen.
Then, without warning, the guillotine came down, cutting my fairy-tale vision swiftly in half.
Warts & Imperfections
- believes all human life form evolved from an invasion of alien lizards
- brainwashed by his religious organization